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Mothers of Misfits
36: How to Parent Without Punishment | Judy Arnall

36: How to Parent Without Punishment | Judy Arnall

behavior positivity process Nov 03, 2020

Judy Arnall, BA, CCFE, DTM is a certified brain and child development specialist and a bestselling author. She shares how everyone can use non-punitive parenting to raise responsible children with lasting family relationships.


  • “We don’t advocate not dealing with that behavior, but we don’t call it discipline anymore because discipline to many parents means punishment.” – Judy Arnall
  • “That’s probably the key message for parents is when you’re dealing with deliberate misbehavior, get yourself calm first, get yourself in a mode of being able to deal with it.” – Judy Arnall
  • “So very often we tell kids what they can’t do when they’re angry. You can’t hit, you can’t swear, you can’t back talk, but we don’t have a ‘yes’ list. We don’t tell them what they can do and give them the tools.” – Judy Arnall
  • “If you wouldn’t do it to your mother-in-law, you wouldn’t do it to your partner, you wouldn’t do it to your next door neighbor, why would you do it to your child?” – Judy Arnall
  • “The first step is to get yourself calm. Time out is for us. Second step, get your child calm. Time in is for them. And the third step is to solve the problem, time together.” – Judy Arnall


  • 0:45 – How does no punishment work?
  • 2:48 – What does it look like to not punish our kids?
  • 8:36 – Consequence vs. problem solving
  • 10:31 – It works for every child
  • 11:43 – It’s all about the relationship
  • 13:42 – One minute too late
  • 16:57 – The ABC’s of non-punitive parenting
  • 22:04 – What to do if you have teens?
  • 24:15 – Learn more about Judy



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