60: Life as a Military Wife and Mom | Lauren Tamm

As a military wife, Lauren found herself in Japan, overwhelmed and alone with a toddler and an infant. She speaks to the challenges of parenting in isolation and gives strategies for re-creating “the village.”

Quotes:

• “We all have these moments where parenting just feels all over the place and nothing specifically prepares you for the moments you’re going to encounter on a daily basis, because you’re always getting something new. You never know what’s going to show up that day, and that can be especially overwhelming.” – Lauren Tamm
• “You need to stack your resources. You need to be honest with yourself about the fact that you need some lifelines and you shouldn’t wait until the house is burning down to wake up and say, hey I need some help.” – Lauren Tamm
• “Be honest about the fact that we were never meant to do this alone. We never were. And historically as humans, we lived in villages where we had generations of families.” – Lauren Tamm
• “We live in this isolated world where we’re just little islands, and we just were never meant to do it alone.” – Lauren Tamm
• “Don’t wait until you’re at your wits end, you’re totally exhausted and done for to ask for help, but we need to build in those people and measures and stop gaps along the way so it never gets to that point.” – Emily Melious
• “Through my perspective, when you have a child that is quote unquote, strong-willed, what you may actually have on your hands is a child who is very self-directed, who has been trying to set their own boundaries for a very long time who does not have the maturity to do that. Yet, they need some help with how to set their own boundaries, how to be self-directed, and they’re also very persistent and independent kids.” – Lauren Tamm
• “You and your child are not equal. You’re not. I think it’s important to make that distinction. You are the parent, you are the authority figure, and you’re there to help guide and coach your child.” – Lauren Tamm

Highlights:

• 0:47 – Parenting is chaotic
• 3:45 – Life as a military wife and mom
• 7:58 – Language of Listening
• 9:57 – Where parents falter
• 14:55 – Language of Listening with strong willed children
• 20:27 – Taming big emotions
• 25:39 – One thing to change today